Apr 6, 2010

Love/Hate Relationship with Pregnancy

So... if you know me then you know... And if you are a Facebook friend, then you know even better. I am not making an effort to document my pregnancy. I am not documenting it as I am not loving the entire process... I LOVE the result and have always wanted to be a mommy, but the process... Not my favorite one.

I've discussed with girl friends and communicated with co-workers and realized pregnancy is a lot like any other novelty in life... Looking in from the outside it is a fairy tale. Cute girls with sweet bellies and impending motherhood. It is much like an engagement. When you hear your friend is engaged, prior to ever planning your own wedding, there is this over flowing joy and preconceived notion that the entire process is roses and sunshine. Well, once you plan a wedding you realize there is a lot of hard work, some disagreements, disappointments and stress... There is also the joy of finding "the" dress, seeing all the plans come together, falling in love again and again as you realize just why you are planning this amazing party... and all this results in the most amazing day of your life... I believe pregnancy is the same way. I have a Love/Hate relationship with it and all will result in the most amazing gift... My little girl - Avery Grace.

So, to tackle my experience in a "Top 5" list... Top 5 Hates... Top 5 Loves... Here goes:

Top 5 Hates:

1. Swelling and fat in the places I never knew I could swell or gain weight. Oh, I know... don't be too hard on yourself, you're creating a miracle... Well, not a fan, sorry. Miracle or not... this body is changing and I am not loving the swell.
2. Cliche jokes... "Boy, you had a lot for lunch." "You are earning quite the beer belly"... No, your joke is not original. Yes, I have heard it before. No, I do not think pretending I am packing on the food/beer pounds is funny (note... there are food pounds that have packed on too, my glory isn't ALL baby)
3. Adult acne. It is not horrible and it is explainable, but I am not a fan of revisiting my impressionable teen years. I do not like looking in the mirror and seeing a pizza across my face and chest. Sorry, I left those years behind for a reason.
4. Giving up my favorite foods. I know this is only for a short period, but the ability to relieve stress has reduced to nearly no opportunities and while most all disciplines I am 100% okay to live by (no need to smoke a pack during pregnancy, none at all) I do miss my foods. Primarily I miss cheeses and beer... Just 3 more months... Can someone bring be a basket of cheese and a 6 pack...
5. Inability to workout. I know I had a condition, one in which all tasks were nearly prohibited, but can't a girl catch a break... I am growing a child, growing thicker and squishier, giving up vices... Can't I just work out... Nope... Not been able to. So the fat mentioned above... well, there's no cure, no prevention... Just me and myself visualizing not getting FATTER.

Top 5 LOVES (let this be noted... this is beyond the most amazing thing I have experienced):

1. My belly and belly button. How amazing is the beach ball in which I call my belly. I am still flabbergasted everyday when I wake up and look in the mirror post shower that the belly I am looking at is in fact mine. I am in awe, it is beautiful. Round, tight, safe... And my already innie/outtie belly button looks awful cute.
2. Ultrasounds. Seeing your baby move. Seeing your babies parts. Hearing your babies heartbeat... and then realizing this all lies just beneath your skins surface... yes, there is a feeling of "body don't fail me now", but WOW. I love watch her run in place within my belly. I love seeing her move her fist to cover her face. More importantly I adore when the doctor allows me to hear her heart beating and then runs through her entire body ensuring every facet of growth is on track... Don't worry, today I am just growing a heart and lungs... No pressure.
3. Feeling her tap, tap, tapping away. Still no major motion in the belly ocean. But, taps are ongoing and the dance party certainly has begun. Pretty cool...
4. Belly rubs. Yes, I like when people touch my belly (gasp, I know). I like it because prior to being pregnant no one ever touched my belly. People didn't just palm my abs, they never reached out and poked my belly button to feel closer to me... But, they now do. They poke my belly button, palm my belly, rub back and forth and touch with love. I adore this as this is all love for my little girl. Not so much for me, but for her. Make no mistake... keep your hands North of the belly equator, but please feel free to send good loving juju to my Avery.
5. Impending motherhood... SCARY - YES... Exciting... without a doubt. Something I've always wanted - 100%. I cannot wait to watch my little girl be a little girl. I cannot wait to see her eyes, hear her laugh, hold her close and let her fly... I wish her good health, smarts like her father, a huge heart like me, joy like her grandma, logic like her grandpa, talent like her aunt... and some cutes...

What a miracle despite the love/hate relationship I have with pregnancy, I know, without a doubt I would do it all over again as the result is beyond the scope which I can comprehend.
**NOTE: That is not my belly... thank you Google images
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2 comments:

  1. Ohhhh....I so feel for you right now. I remember that so well. My first pregnancy was with twins and I gained 70 lbs and I couldn't work out since it was high risk. I'm short and my belly had no where to go BUT out! At 7 months everyone commented daily that I was ready to explode! Drove me crazy.

    Love your lil' girls name...and LOVE the nursery stuff...I have 3 boys and have been drooling over all the sweet lil' girl Liberty London stuff @ Target...

    Good luck with the remaining 2 months- and remember that this (just as every bit of raising this lil' girl) goes so much faster than you can imagine- as trite as that saying goes, it's soooo true!

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  2. I agree, pregnancy not so much. My daughter AMAZING. She turns one this month...this equals everyone and their MOTHER asking when baby number two is coming along. Um, my body totally remembers pregnancy. I'm STILL sleeping on my belly out of pregger rebellion.

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